Alas! When will our well again be well?

Come gather 'round, if ye be brave of heart,
A tale of dreadful woe have I to tell:
On Thursday morn my tragic tale did start,
When coliforms were found inside our well.
They may have been there months, admittedly--
What that entails I feel no need to spell.
But so they stopped our well immediately
Bacteria from the water to expel.
Yet Tuesday, and again on Friday morn
We heard that still our water was unwell.
A three-fold plague have we, so I must warn
That drought can cause a people to rebel.
Oh fie, oh spite! There will be hell to pay
Unless that cursed well gets well, I say.

There are very few things that have ever inspired me to write a sonnet, since I have no talent as a poet and thus generally the world is better off if I don't attempt such a feat (my last sonnet was for a dumb AP U.S. History project where we had to write a Valentine to an American historical figure of our choosing; a sonnet was certainly not required, but once the line Shall I compare thee to Calhoun or Clay? drifted into my little brain, I had to see it through and write an entire love sonnet to Daniel Webster). Anyway, the building that I live in has been without full use of water for over a week now since testing positive for coliform bacteria last Thursday (not fecal coliform, for those who know the difference; for those who don't, fecal coliform bacteria are generally from human waste and accompanied by other fecal stuff that's gross and makes you sick, whereas non-fecal coliform bacteria are just, well, bacteria, a fact which is supposed to be reassuring). They've chlorinated the well three times now, and hopefully we'll find over the weekend that the third time's the charm. The second time the well tested positive for the bacteria, I sent an email to the other residents of the building with a mere Oh fie, oh spite, oh hell! Is it too much/ To ask that our poor well again be well? But the third time the test came back positive, I felt an entire sonnet was in order to express my full frustration. Hence the sorry excuse for a sonnet you see above.

The water situation is a little case of "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone." I mean, I already knew that I use water a lot, but washing dishes and my face with bottled water is getting really old, as is trekking to another building to take a shower. We were told we couldn't even flush toilets during the 24-hour chlorination process so as not to disturb the system. This third chlorination had better work. I've already written a sonnet; I don't know where to go from there if we get a fourth positive coliform reading. Epic poetry?


> Update 10/24/08:
Rejoice, dear friends, rejoice! Go forth and tell
The news that once again our well is well.
> Update 11/4/08: Our well has tested positive for bacteria, yet again. They may need to dig a new well or something serious. All I have left to say is
FRAK!
> Update 11/18/08:
Well, the well has tested negative again. And this time it's going to work. Really.