Shit Geeky Girls Say...

Last week, I came across this awesome video in which Toria (The Toria Show) tells us all the shit geek girls say. It's hilariously true.



She explains that this is all stuff she says, but she assumes other geeky girls may say similar things. She's right. I don't partake in all the realms of geekdom that she references (e.g. comic books, Doctor Who), but enough of these resonated for me that I was laughing very hard.

Yes, female armor is so much skimpier than male armor! I couldn't believe it in SWTOR when my Jedi had heavy armor that left her with a bare midriff. Ridiculous! Then there's the slave girl outfit (luckily only counts as light armor). Obligatory, I suppose. But I've yet to find the slave male outfit.

Picard, hands down!

RPG > FPS.

I'm usually pretty decisive about hair color, but the eye spacing... That's a tricky one. You don't want to spend the whole game thinking "I should have gone one tick closer" every time you see your character's face!

In Baldur's Gate, I definitely did give my fighter/thief more charisma than she needed. I wanted people to like me! What's wrong with that?

I showed this video to my boyfriend, to get a sense of what I really do say vs. just think silently to myself. He laughed particularly hard at the "My character is awesome!" line, and when she sings the Lord of the Rings Shire theme, plus the bit from "Still Alive". I sing those a LOT.

The funniest bit for me, though, came right at the beginning. "Did I ever tell you I speak Elvish?" The day I saw this video, earlier that morning I had just told a friend of mine that I speak (a little) Elvish. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, TORIA!

Smithsonian Art of Video Games Exhibit winning games

Earlier this year, the Smithsonian American Art Museum held public voting for which video games to feature in its planned Art of Video Games exhibit. Voters could choose one of three games in each genre (e.g. action, strategy) on each selected console (apparently no hand-held devices), sectioned off into the different "eras": Start!, 8-bit, Bitwars!, Transition, and Next Generation. See the list of winning games here.

I am delighted that Mass Effect 2, Portal, Diablo II, and Final Fantasy Tactics made it into the exhibition. These four games are among my favorites. Mass Effect 2 was my obsession last year, with an intriguing story, complex characters, difficult choices, tight and exciting gameplay, and beautifully created worlds to explore. Portal was a short but superbly sweet game, perfectly designed to feel challenging and satisfying without being impossibly frustrating, teaching you the mechanisms of how the portals can be used, bit by bit, before setting you loose. Even with what are now primitive graphics, Diablo II had memorable settings and engaging animation, and I remember how wowed I was by the cut scene graphics when I first saw them. I'm actually a little less convinced about the artfulness of Final Fantasy Tactics, but I'm a bit ignorant here because I haven't played any other games like it (it's the only PlayStation, Japanese RPG, or true turn-based combat game I've played). But it was fun, with an intriguing if sometimes confusing and frustrating plot.


Yes, this is the same pic I used in the older post...but it's a good one.

Other games that I've played at least in part that made the cut include Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Earthworm Jim, StarCraft, Super Mario 64, and GoldenEye 007. Other assorted winners I feel like mentioning include The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Halo 2, Final Fantasy VII, Fable, Bioshock, Minecraft, and Super Mario Galaxy 2. Mario and Legend of Zelda seemed to fare particularly well, with many games in each franchise making it into the exhibit.

I was most disappointed to find that Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn did not make it into the exhibition. It was beaten by Fallout, which I haven't played, though I understand it is a perfectly deserving game as well. Still, BG2 is my favorite, so the loss stings. Interestingly, Fallout 3 beat another BioWare game, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Though I really love KotOR, I was less disappointed by its loss, because from what little I know of Fallout 3 I think it earned its victory. It's a little funny, though, because KotOR is five years older than Fallout 3, which puts it in a different league from a graphics standpoint.

One game from each era was selected (not by vote) for exhibit visitors to play for a few minutes, to allow them to experience the games' interactivity. Interactivity, after all, is a crucial component of the art of video games. The selected games are Pac-Man (arcade), Super Mario Brothers, The Secret of Monkey Island, Myst, and World of Warcraft. I still regret never playing Myst. A friend gave it to me in high school, but for some reason our computer at the time didn't like it, making weird sounds and sometimes refusing to launch it (probably a flaw in the disk). Anyway, I gave up, and never got anywhere in it. Maybe some day I'll get back to it.

The Art of Video Games exhibit will be in the Smithsonian American Art Museum, 3rd floor North, from March 16-2012 to September 30, 2012. Mark your calendars.

Female characters in video games: Good female characters

Seeing how it's still March, and thus Women's History Month, I have an excuse for a feminist post (why I should feel like I need an excuse is another issue...). Having read some interesting pieces on female characters in video games in the recent past, the topic has been on my mind. In this series of posts, I will share my thoughts on various issues of female characters in video games, as well as articles that helped provoke these thoughts.

Post #1: Depiction of women in video games
Post #2: (below)
Post #3: Female protagonists in video games

Good female characters in video games

Extra Credits did a great video on the subject of what makes strong, realistic female video game characters. Concise, thoughtful, and amusing, it makes better points on the matter more eloquently than I could. So check it out:


You can also watch the video here.

Did you watch it all? OK. As the video points out, the traits that define a good female character are the same traits that define any good character, since a good character should not be defined by gender. That said, there are both genetic and societal differences between the two genders, which may be mined to strengthen a character of either gender.

I don't have much to add on the ideas in the video about societal pressures put on women, other than that I agree with them that women who neither fully accept nor reject the societal standards placed on them are the most realistic and engaging. Also, it can be very interesting to explore societies in fantasy or sci-fi where the societal expectations for men and women are different from are own. The drow of Dungeons & Dragons, which I've encountered in Baldur's Gate II, make an interesting (if somewhat evil) example of this, as do certain aliens in Mass Effect (such as the Asari, a single-gender species). I'd like to see more of this.

As far as genetic differences go, in fantasy games that already have magic and mythical beasts, it's not any more of a stretch to imagine that some of the genetic differences between the genders, such as men's greater strength and suitability for combat, do not exist or are altered. In sci-fi featuring a future version of humanity, there is also some flexibility here, since the use of advanced technology may allow women to be as capable as men in combat (Ashley in Mass Effect argues a woman can shoot an assault rifle as well as a man; I'm not going to argue with her). In almost every game I've played, female characters are males' equals in skills and attributes (including strength). I think it works and makes sense. But some genetic differences can't be eliminated without redefining what a man and woman are. And by that I mean woman's ability to bear children.

As the Extra Credit video points out, issues of motherhood could make for a very interesting character. I've had several party members over the years who have been fathers, but only one mother as a companion (not counting the DTB for the Human Noble origin story in DAO): Samara in Mass Effect 2. However, she was a very, for lack of a better word, alien mother. Her children were all fully grown (hundreds of years old, in fact), and she had made rather un-motherly vows as a Justicar to hunt down and kill her somewhat monstrous daughter. The story is made far more poignant because she is the mother, but her actions could have been done by any Justicar who made it her mission to kill a dangerous member of her species. I can't think of a prominent video game character I've encountered who was really a more "normal" mother. And I've certainly never played as one.


Healthy mother-daughter relationship

In the Baldur's Gate 2 expansion Throne of Bhaal, if you play as a male player character and romance party member Aerie, she becomes pregnant and actually gives birth to a child, which you carry around in your backpack for the rest of the game (it's very safe, stuffing it in with all the swords and daggers and things). This makes me wonder what it would have been like if it were possible for a female player character romancing Anomen to become pregnant. It could have been timed so that the child would not have come to term during the events of the game, and the character would still have been in the early stages of pregnancy at the end of the game. How much harder would it have been to choose between remaining a mortal with Anomen to have the child or becoming a god? (I don't know what would have happened in the latter case: Would the child be lost during the transformation? Would it be born a demigod? Would it be born mortal, and the mother as a god would have to give it up, watching it age and die?). Maybe for some that would have made the decision easier, but for me it would have been much more heart-wrenching.

It would be interesting to see a game featuring a mother character trying to protect her children as they cross a war-torn country (as the video suggests). But really, I'm happy any time I meet a dynamic, believable, engaging female character not defined by her sex (and this goes not just for games, but also for movies, TV shows, etc.). I'm lucky, actually, that I play games with a lot of strong, interesting, complex female characters. BioWare (and others...but I mostly play BioWare) excels at making good characters, and many of them are women.

Both men and women like to see female characters in games. And great games, for the most part, have great characters. So let's see more great female characters in games. Then everybody wins.

Mathematical Monday: Video Game Riddles - Solutions

Here are the solutions to my favorite math riddles I've encountered in video games, which I shared last week. If you missed them, give them a try before you look at the solutions!

1. Circus tent genie in Waukeen's Promenade, Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn
The princess is as old as the prince will be when the princess is twice as old as the prince was when the princess's age was half the sum of their present ages. How old are the prince and princess? My addition: Given that the princess is a teenager, and assuming only whole number ages.
The hard part of this riddle is parsing it, but if you look at it carefully, it gives information about the prince and princess's ages at three different times--past, present, and future--which I've color-coded. Let's call the current age of the princess X and that of the prince Y. Their ages at the past time described are simply X and Y minus a certain number of years (which we'll call P), and their ages at the future time described are simply X and Y plus a different number of years (which we'll call F). For example, the prince's age at the future time described is Y+F. So we can make equations describing the relationships in the riddle.
The princess is as old as the prince will be:
(1) X=Y+F
when the princess is twice as old as the prince was:
(2) X+F = 2*(Y-P)
when the princess's age was half the sum of their present ages:
(3) X-P = 0.5*(X+Y)
This gives us three equations with four unknowns, so we won't be able to solve for exact numbers. But we can find out the relationship between X and Y. Choose your favorite method for solving the system of equations, and you should eventually find that 3X/4 = Y. So the prince's age is three quarters of the princess's age. Given my addition to the problem--that the princess is a teenager and we're considering whole number ages only--not only must the princess be a "teen" but her age must evenly divide by four. This means the princess is 16, and the prince is 12.

2. Yuan-Ti in Mutamin's Challenge, Neverwinter Nights
After slaying a dragon, a group of knights gave some of the trinkets from its treasure stash to a group of fewer than ten girls to divide. While the trinkets could have been divided equally amongst the girls, they argued over how to divide it. One suggested that they divide it by family instead of by individual. In the group there were two groups of two sisters, the rest unrelated. This division would mean that the trinkets per family were five more than the trinkets per girl. Before a decision was made, one girl said she desired nothing. So her share was divided amongst the others. The shares were equal again. The suggestion of dividing the trinkets per family was withdrawn, as all were satisfied. How many girls shared in the division and how many did each get?
Assuming that all of the relevant numbers in this problem are integers greater than zero--which I will refer to as "counting numbers"--so there are no negative trinkets or half girls, there is actually only one solution to the problem regardless of whether or not it is specified that there are fewer than ten girls. Consider it a bonus hint to help solve the problem. Here is my method:
The number of trinkets (T) divides evenly by the number of girls (G) and the number of families, which is G-2 (because there are two pairs of sisters, essentially eliminating two girls from the count). Since T is a multiple of G, let's say that T = k*G, where k is some counting number. The number of trinkets per family (T/[G-2]) is five more than the number of trinkets per girl (T/G). In other words,
T/G + 5 = T/(G-2)
Substituting in T = kG and solving for G gives
G = 2 + 2k/5
Since k must be a multiple of 5 to keep G an integer, we can try out a few values of k and see what happens. Setting k equal to 5, 10, 15, and 20 give G values of 4, 6, 8, and 10, respectively. G must be less than 10 but also greater than 4, since there have to be more than just the two pairs of sisters. So are there 6 or 8 girls? The number of trinkets must also be evenly divisible by G-1, corresponding to the final division of trinkets when the one girl opts out. If G=8 and k=15, then T=120, but that's not divisible by 7. If G=6 and k=10, then T=60 which is divisible by 5: 60/5 = 12. And there's our answer: 5 girls split the 60 trinkets, getting 12 each.

I promised that this was the only solution even if the problem didn't give us the hint that there are fewer than 10 girls. So here's a more explicit way to complete the problem. It's actually much harder this way, so consider yourself warned.
We know that T divides evenly by G, G-1, and G-2. How can we use that to define T? T could be a multiple of G*(G-1)*(G-2), of course, as that would guarantee that it is divisible by all three values. But if there is an overlap in the factors of those three values, T could be G*(G-1)*(G-2) divided by those factors and still be a multiple of all three values (Example: 2*3*8 = 48, but since 8 and 2 both have 2 as a factor, the smallest multiple of all three of those is 48/2 = 24). Still with me? Since our three values are consecutive integers, the only number they can possibly share as a factor is 2--that is, if G and G-2 are both even numbers. Right? This all comes down to allowing us to define
T = d*G(G-1)(G-2)/2
where d is a counting number. From before, we have that T = kG and G = 2+2k/5, but since we know that k has to be a multiple of 5, I'm going to define yet another counting number b such that k = 5*b. This means T = 5bG and G = 2 + 2b, which get substituted into the T = d*... equation. Solve for b to find
b = 5/(2d) - 1/2
The only way both d and b can be counting numbers is if d = 1! d = 2, 3, and 4 give non-integer b values, d = 5 makes b zero, and d>5 makes b negative. It all falls into place from there.
d = 1
b = 5/2 - 1/2 = 2
G = 2+2b = 6
T = 5bG = 60
G-1 = 5
T/(G-1) = 12
We have a unique answer! 5 girls get 12 trinkets each.

3. Battle droids on Tattooine, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
What are the next two entries in the sequence?
14 * 11-14 * 31-14 * 13-21-14 * _____ * _____
The math in this one is so simple, it's kind of infuriating how long I spent trying to solve it. Read the individual digits of each entry out loud:
one four * one one, one four * three one, one four * one three, two one, one four
Get it? Each entry describes the digits in the entry before it, in order of the digits' first appearance. The first entry has one one, and one four, so the second entry is 11-14. So, since the last entry has three ones, one three, one two, and one four, the next entry is
31-12-12-14
and the entry after that is
13-41-22-14
Sweet and simple, with math that a kindergartener would understand, but it can stump even advanced math users. Always fun.

A few other great video game math puzzles come to mind, but they're not riddles so much as puzzles that involve manipulation of objects, so they're harder to share here. Then there are mini-games like Pazaak in KotOR that involve math (but chance as well, so there's less to solve). In any case, I love math and I love computer RPGs, so when the two cross over I am always delighted. I hope you enjoyed these, too!

Mathematical Monday: Video Game Riddles

Happy Pi Day! If you're a person who finds math puzzles fun, then this post is for you. Otherwise, you'll probably just want to move along.

I feel like it's been a while since one of my computer games made me solve a math puzzle. The RPGs that I love most--the ones that make the player do more than just hack and slash--sometimes throw in riddles or other puzzles for the player to solve: Answer this riddle to pass through the door, navigate these floor tiles in the right pattern so you don't get shocked, etc. They may seem artificial sometimes (really?? killing me is your only hope of escaping this eternal prison, yet you'll let me go if I can solve your riddle?), but that doesn't mean they aren't fun. Occasionally these puzzles will involve math. Usually the math can be avoided by the fact that responses are multiple choice in these games, so you can always take a guess and reload if you were wrong. It's probably quicker that way in some cases. But where's the fun in that?

Here are three of my favorite math puzzles I encountered playing computer RPGs. Feel free to post your answers in the comments. I'll share the (exhaustive) solutions next week. Who says that you don't learn anything from video games?

Circus tent genie in Waukeen's Promenade, Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn
The princess is as old as the prince will be when the princess is twice as old as the prince was when the princess's age was half the sum of their present ages. How old are the prince and princess?
This is probably my favorite, due to just how confusing it sounds. If you work this one out, then you'll find that there are multiple pairs of numbers that solve it; it was only solvable in the game because it was multiple choice question. For our purposes here, I'll add that the princess is a teenager, and to clarify we're looking at whole number ages only.

Yuan-Ti in Mutamin's Challenge, Neverwinter Nights
After slaying a dragon, a group of knights gave some of the trinkets from its treasure stash to a group of fewer than ten girls to divide. While the trinkets could have been divided equally amongst the girls, they argued over how to divide it. One suggested that they divide it by family instead of by individual. In the group there were two groups of two sisters, the rest unrelated. This division would mean that the trinkets per family were five more than the trinkets per girl. Before a decision was made, one girl said she desired nothing. So her share was divided amongst the others. The shares were equal again. The suggestion of dividing the trinkets per family was withdrawn, as all were satisfied. How many girls shared in the division and how many did each get?

Battle droids on Tattooine, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
What are the next two entries in the sequence?
14 * 11-14 * 31-14 * 13-21-14 * _____ * _____
This one stumped me more than any other video game math puzzle, and the friends that I've shared it with have mostly been pretty stumped themselves. It's great.

An observation: These three puzzles are all from BioWare games. I suppose they are a large proportion of the games I play, but still, I think this reflects positively on BioWare's support of math education. I wonder if Dragon Age 2 will have any math puzzles that I can look forward to.

Solutions are up here.

Geek Girls Unite! blog award

I know I just posted about my first blog award, but I've actually just been given a second blog award. It's the Geek Girls Unite award from RAY J at Point Me to the Sky Above, an awesome geek girl who I only recently discovered as she was doing a giveaway on her blog to celebrate five years of World of Warcraft playing (a real veteran!). As a proud geek girl, I am very honored! The award was just created by Angela of High on Life, another geek girl I recently found--see, we geek girls are uniting!

And here are the rules:

List ten geeky facts about yourself and...

Pass this award onto your favorite female geeks!

Now my geeky facts. Some of these I've talked about on my blog before (one of my blog's themes is celebrating my geekiness, after all) but some are new little geeky gems!

1. I didn't start loving to read until I read Brian Jacques' Redwall series about woodland animals who (mostly) live in an abbey and take up swords and slings and bows and arrows when their peace is threatened by cruel invaders. It was my invaluable introduction to fantasy.
2. I've always enjoyed math and science. Now I'm working towards a PhD in physical oceanography (i.e., the physics of the ocean). Field work is all well and good, but what I really like is modeling--and I don't mean strutting down the runway. Computer programming is fun!
3. I can speak a little bit of Quenya (one of Tolkien's Elvish languages). Not much, but more than just direct quotes from Lord of the Rings; I know some grammar and a small vocabulary and can make my own sentences. What's more, I learned it for a self-tailored high school project which culminated in a presentation to my class. (All the gory details can be found here.) And I can write in the tengwar script.
4. Of course, my high school classmates already knew I was a geek. I was the president of my high school's Fantasy Reader's Guild. I even got our guild's picture in the local newspaper as we stood in line, in costume, waiting to see Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
5. I love musicals and I love memorizing songs from musicals. I can sing from memory all or most of the songs from Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King, Pocahontas, Mulan, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Into the Woods, Wicked, Avenue Q, Guys and Dolls...
6. I'm a huge fan of Firefly, among many other sci-fi- and fantasy-related TV shows. In college, I got a bunch of friends hooked on Firefly, and when we watched the movie Serenity, I threw a theme party with Chinese food, ice-planets, and costumes. (I did a post on that one here.)
7. In my Ivy League civil engineering course called Mechanics of Solids, I did my term paper on The Bridge of Khazad-dûm: A structural analysis of a bridge of Dwarven engineering (that is, the bridge that Gandalf and the fiery Balrog fall off of in LotR). I got an A+. (Find the full story here.)
8. Up until I was 24 years old, the only boyfriends I'd ever had were non-player characters in my computer games: Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights 1 and 2, Knights of the Old Republic, and Mass Effect. (Get the juicy details here.)
9. Once I did get boyfriend, I proceeded to geekify him. So far we've covered Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Horrible, Fringe, and The Guild, and our current projects are Big Bang Theory and Pushing Daisies.
10. Last but not least, what has been until now a closely guarded secret: When I was in 9th grade, I was in a youth bowling league. Not geeky enough? We named our team the Rolling Voltorbs. Yes, a voltorb is a Pokémon. Shaped like a ball. We were clever.


Now, I bestow this noble award upon these lovely geek girls:

Hezabelle - A Canadian studying towards a master's degree in the U.K. and enjoying her travels in Europe, she knows a lot about Greek history and mythology. She's also the only other girl I know who says she knows a tiny bit of Elvish.

Holly of Sorcery and Glue - Another girl who shares my love of BioWare games, she makes awesome costumes related to her favorite geeky things. Current projects: Mass Effect N7 armor and a Grunt costume with animatronic head!

Megan of Hollywood Jane - A fantasy and sci-fi fan and Joss Whedon lover trying to make it as a writer in L.A. She has a funny web series called "Quest for Comic-Con."

Geek Girl Diva - She keeps us geek girls updated on news to make us squee and geeky merchandise to make us drool.

Blog design updates and newses

Unless you're new to my blog, you may have noticed a few design changes recently. I figured it was time I update my blog decorations with images from new games.

In case there was any doubt, the images in my Life header and Seven Ages of Man sidebar were all thoughtfully chosen before being painstakingly screen shot by yours truly. When I first put them up, I did a post explaining their significance, but that was back before anyone actually read my blog, so my explanation was a bit more self-indulgent and long-winded than necessary. Plus, the post is now out of date.

The RPG Called Life header
These are RPG screen shots that I, for one reason or another, associate with Life. From left to right:
In Mass Effect 2, Commander Shepard catches Miranda, just barely saving her life.
In Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer, the PC replenishes her life with a heal potion.
In Diablo II, the full red life globe indicates the player is fully healthy and alive.
In Mass Effect, the new PC's paragon and renegade bars are empty, waiting to fill according to the choices she will make in her life.
In Baldur's Gate II, the party confronts Irenicus at the Tree of Life in Suldanessellar.
In Dragon Age: Origins, the PC kills the Archdemon, restoring hope for all life in Ferelden.

The Seven Ages of Man sidebar
As You Like It may not be one of Shakespeare's most famous titles, but it has a very famous monologue in it, beginning with the lines "All the world's a stage/And all the men and women merely players" then detailing what is sometimes referred to as the seven ages of man. If you don't know it, look it up. So who will represent each of these seven ages?
The infant: a baby Child of Bhaal from Baldur's Gate II. (This is my favorite of all the pictures. How creepy is that baby?)
The school-boy: Connor Guerrin, son of Arl Eamon Guerrin of Redcliffe in Dragon Age: Origins. The screen shot is from after the demon who possessed him has been vanquished, so he really is pure boy, not abomination anymore.
The lover: Kelly from the Normandy in Mass Effect 2. I haven't done her romance, but she is a very loving person, loving males, females, humans, and alien species all. What better lover is there to have on my list?
The soldier: Chief Ashley Williams from Mass Effect, a soldier for the Alliance and a soldier by "class".
The justice: Master Vrook of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. A wise Jedi master, he's around in both KotOR I and II, plus he's voiced by Ed Asner.
The pantaloon: Old Deckard Cain from Diablo II, of course. Stay awhile and listen.
Oblivion: Myrkul, dead former god of the dead in Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer.


Now that I've done the full disclosure on my blog decorations, how about a couple entertainment news items?

First, Megan Fox will not be in Transformers 3. There has been some discrepancy as to whether this is because of her insults to director Michael Bay, or if the writers just wanted to go somewhere else with the story, or if she was the one who stepped out of the project. I don't particularly care, really. I can't say I'll miss her in it; she was never what made the good parts good, anyway. I do know a few teenage boys, however, who feel differently. In any case, I loved the first movie but was really disappointed by the second, so I hope they can turn it around and make the third one enjoyable again. Other interesting actors have signed on for the three-quel, including Alan Tudyk (yay!), Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, and Ken Jeong (Variety, IMDb).

Second, Morgan Spurlock (Super-Size Me) and Joss Whedon are planning to make a big-screen documentary about Comic-Con, called "Comic-Con Episode Four: A Fan's Hope" (Variety). The documentary will follow seven fans from across America and around the globe as they make the trek to San Diego for the convention. I've never been to Comic-Con but I've long wanted to go, and I'd be interested in seeing the documentary. I wonder, though, who else might want to see it other than Comic-Con-type fanboys and fangirls themselves. Is this something non-geeks would be interested in? I guess we'll see.

That's all for now!

Spring Break 2185 (Mass Effect 2)

I just finished Mass Effect 2. Holy crap. It was frakkin' amazing.

I'm still a bit jittery from being terrified for the whole end game (Oh god, who's going to die?!), but also my head is buzzing with excitement. An awesome game ending kind of gives you a high like that.

Unfortunately, I can't chatter on here too much since I need to go to bed because tomorrow morning I go back to school. Back to the real world. Back to problem sets and studying and advisor meetings. It's all so mundane. Seems utterly insignificant coming off saving the galaxy. I'm not sure how I can motivate myself. I try to console myself about spring break ending by reminding myself that the Housemate is coming back from vacation tomorrow. But even he seems boring compared to the friends I've been hanging out with on board the Normandy*.

Perhaps there is something unhealthy about delving so deeply into a game--committing so completely to a fantasy--for an entire week. I did a few miscellaneous other things over break: made two trips to the grocery store, watched some TV shows, did a load of laundry, fed myself,** slept. But Mass Effect 2 was never far from my mind, and it certainly enjoyed a plurality of my waking hours. Mass Effect 2 really was my vacation. How do I now deal with the shock of crashing back down into my dull Real Life?

I guess it's not so different from someone coming back from a Caribbean cruise, facing job and house chores after living a week of luxury and beauty and gluttony and relaxation and entertainment. I'm just coming back from a cruise in the Terminus Systems. I'm sure I'll be fine.

It may be hard to explain to some people at school ("So what did you do over break?" "Played a computer game." "Anything else?" "Uh, grocery shopping?"), but I had a really, really great break. I had a lot of fun, and I feel a great sense of accomplishment (even if my accomplishment was a virtual one). I'm satisfied. I'm happy. And I have no regrets.***


* I told the Housemate via video chat that I had cheated on him with a romance in the game.
Housemate: Do I need to come back and (pounds his fist into his palm) teach the guy a lesson?
Me: Well, he's kind of like one of the top assassins in the galaxy, so you might not want to mess with him.

** Thanks to my first RPG, Baldur's Gate II, for teaching me good gaming habits with its load screen advice: "While your character does not have to eat, remember that YOU do. We don't want to lose any dedicated players." Words to live by. Thanks, BioWare, I've certainly been a dedicated player.

*** As long as I don't remember all the studying that I need to do.

Midterm madness

I've never kept a regular posting schedule, but if you've noticed me making fewer posts in the past week or two, it's because I have midterm exams now and have been miserably studying.

I have managed to fit in a little bit of Mass Effect 2 playing. I just bought myself fish for my fish tank and my own little Boo who comes out of his hiding place to squeak at me. You have no idea how excited I am about both. It is the best improvement from Mass Effect 1: decorations for the captain's cabin--particularly the pets. I wish my rent contract allowed me to have pets in real life. I would so have my own real-life fish and space hamster (though I should note as I have before on this blog that I prefer gerbils to non-space hamsters).


To make myself feel better about working on midterms, I named the Matlab code file for the take-home midterm I have been working on MassEffect2.m. That way, I could tell myself that I had been spending all day playing around with Mass Effect 2. It almost helped.

Anyway, I hope to get back to more regular posts once the dust from my midterms settles. Probably nothing until the weekend.

"My Identity" guest post at Theories of Anything

After last week Tuesday's metaphysical discussion of identity, I guess it's somewhat fitting to follow it up with a discussion of my identity, or at least one small aspect of it. But you won't find it here. Today I have my first guest post!

Als at Theories of Anything had a series of guest bloggers for the month of April writing on the theme of "My Identity." I decided to jump on the bandwagon and do a guest post. I swear I got it in a couple days before the end of the month, she just chose not to post it until now. So head on over there to read my guest post. It's a bit out there (and by that I mean it reveals my supremely geeky nature, to a greater extent than I have on my blog if that's possible), and it addresses one of those "uncomfortable truths" of mine, so just appreciate how naked I feel and then maybe forget about it. Als's blog is great, so once you're there, stick around to check it out--she has some lovely poems (I love the four-part butterfly poem), some insightful essays and commentaries, and discussions of books and music that she enjoys.

This is my very first guest post! Hooray for the blogger community. Enjoy!

Update: Some time since hosting this guest post series, Als decided to make her blog invitation only. So, if you want to read the post, I've copied it below:


Guest post originally for Theories of Anything

If you were to meet me in real life, you would probably conclude that I'm a fairly normal girl who pretty much has her life all together. I graduated from a prestigious college, I've been working in environmental research for almost two years, and in the fall I will begin working towards a Ph.D. in oceanography. I take care of myself with a healthy lifestyle and maintain a normal social life. In fact, plenty of people know me a long time without ever learning that I am a total geek.

Now, geeks come in many flavors, but I fall primarily in the fantasy/sci-fi gamer realm of geekdom. My favorite movies and TV shows are in the sci-fi or fantasy genres, I read almost exclusively fantasy novels, and, perhaps most notably, I devote an appalling amount of my time to playing computer games. My favorite games are fantasy or sci-fi role-playing games (RPGs), particularly ones with complex, engaging storylines; ideally, playing an RPG should be like watching a movie or TV show except that you're in control of the main character.

Like most fans of the fantasy (and sci-fi) genre, I love it for the escape. Fantasy worlds offer magic and spaceships. The characters are always getting swept off into exciting adventures to save the world. What better way to escape from the boredom and harsh realities of the Real World than to dive into another world governed by completely different rules? What escape can be more thrilling and satisfying than saving the galaxy from evil? Books or movies allow the reader or viewer to live vicariously through the characters; RPGs go a step further by allowing the player to step into their shoes. It's almost like becoming one of the characters.

But just almost. Once in a while you hear stories about obsessive, addicted gamers who eschew their real lives for their in-game "second lives". I'm not like that. I know what's real and what's not, and I know better than to sacrifice my real life for the benefit of a virtual game. My true identity is clear; my love of fantasy and gaming has not given me any sort of identity crisis.

At least, I do a very good job of hiding my fantasy-related identity issues—even from myself. Only occasionally do these feelings surface, and they are always quickly suppressed. But delving into a personal journal that I kept while in college—a private journal that I never intended anyone else to see—I found some disturbing evidence of my identity issues:

5/12/05
If I should die, keep my computer, for it holds the people I wish I could be.

Though I am loathe to admit it, when confronted with this pitiful honesty, I cannot deny that I still relate to the person who wrote it. The truth is, there is a part of me that feels a strong kinship with my computer game characters. These characters live in fantastical worlds I find preferable to our own, live lives more exciting than my own, and because I control them in the game, they reflect my opinions and choices—they reflect a piece of me. This is not actually an exclusively game-related phenomenon. You name any fantasy or sci-fi world that I've ever loved—Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, X-Men, Heroes, Star Wars—and you can bet I've daydreamed about who I would be in that world. Frequently. I have had more of these fantasy identities than I can remember.

I know that these identities are just fantasies. They are illusory daydreams hidden beneath the real me who is just a normal, cheerful girl contributing her part to society. It has been said, after all, that it's not who we are underneath but what we do that defines us*. If we subscribe to that philosophy, my identity is defined by my successful young career as an environmental scientist and my healthy relationships with the people around me, not by these false fantasies.

If we subscribe to that philosophy. It is true that what we do in life defines us to the outside world. Our actions are what really matter, since they are what the rest of the world will witness and remember. The world doesn't care about our hidden thoughts. Our actions echo through the future, while our inner feelings die with us. Still, what we do is influenced by other people, limited by the world and the circumstances under which we live. Our dreams, in contrast, are unfiltered by reality. In that sense, what is more our own—more ourselves—than our dreams?

The way our unrealistic dreams have any relevance is through our personal happiness. My actions may affect the world around me in a tangible way, but when I compare my real life to my fantasies, it affects how I feel. Like many twenty-somethings, I spend a lot of time struggling to find my role in life. And my fantasy identities are always there to taunt me: You will never matter as much to your world as Commander Shepard or Gorion's Ward matter to theirs! These characters torture me because I love them but I know they can never be real. How can I ever be satisfied with my life when I compare myself to superheroes? How can I find my place in the world when I yearn for a different universe? Some day, I may mature enough to let these false dreams go. But until then, fantasy will remain my escape—and my prison.


*My fellow geeks may have identified this as a reference to Batman Begins.

My Romances - Part 1

My Computer Game Romances, Part 1: You're so vain
Baldur's Gate 2: Shadows of Amn, and expansion Throne of Bhaal
Anomen Delryn

SPOILERS

I met Anomen at an inn called the Copper Coronet in the Slums district of Athkatla, the capital of Amn, shortly after I had been brought to the unfamiliar city against my will by the evil mage Irenicus and had escaped from his dungeon. I was in need of friends in that unfriendly city; I needed to amass a great deal of gold to save my childhood friend Imoen from the island prison run by Athkatla's Cowled Wizards, and to earn that gold, I needed a team to help me with lucrative adventurers' quests. My first impression of Anomen was that he was a pompous fool. Still, I needed another fighter and healer on my team, and I preferred the noble prick to the crazy, bloodthirsty dwarf in the room, so I welcomed Anomen into my party.

I must admit that I was initially more charmed by the sweet words of Haer'Dalis, our bard companion, than the boastful stories that Anomen liked to tell. But Haer'Dalis called me raven, while the elf Aerie was his dove, and over time I came to see that Anomen's bombastic manner was just a facade to hide his insecurities and his guilt. The adventuring profession, you see, is a magnet for troubled souls. It also naturally attracts trouble, and when Anomen received word that the sister he had left at home with his drunkard father had been murdered, it tore him apart, his thirst for vengeance nearly ruining his chances of becoming a knight. I was experiencing my own troubles around that time (oh, Irenicus just stole my soul), but through our love we were able to help each other overcome these obstacles.

After the defeat of Irenicus, our quest shifted to preventing the children of the late god of murder Bhaal from killing each other (particularly since the Bhaalspawn included Imoen and me), as well as the rest of the world that was in the way. During this time, my love for Anomen grew. He gave me a golden ring, and he promised that after it was all over, after we had stopped all the Bhaalspawn killings and the plots to resurrect a new god of murder, he would marry me. But in the end, I was forced to make the most tortuous choice of my life: I could either release the god essence collected from all the children of Bhaal so that no god would ever rise in his place, or take it as my own and become a god myself. While I wanted nothing more than to be done with the legacy of Bhaal and to marry Anomen and live a normal life with him until I died, I knew that fate never meant for me to live a simple, happy life. The world and all the planes needed me as another powerful force for good, so I traded my desires for the obligation of godhood. The decision tore Anomen and me apart, but he is strong and will endure. And I will always wear the gold ring he gave me, so that I might remember the love that I once shared with a mortal man.

Oh, god, is that some good, sappy soap opera material there. I actually completely missed out on the Anomen romance on my first playthrough of BG2. As I said, I was more interested in the charming Haer'Dalis and thought that Anomen was an obnoxious prick. I pretty sure what happened was that in the first "romance conversation" with Anomen, I told him to his face that he was very vain, and that was the end of that. If you know it's there, though, the Anomen romance isn't so hard. When he talks to you, with trumpets playing a sweet melody in the background, be nice to him. Don't trade him out of your party, and don't let him fall to the dark side--that is, don't let him kill Saerk out of vengeance. Do all those things and it's easy; he initiates the necessary conversations in due time.

As with most things in Baldur's Gate 2, this romance is better developed than the romances in the other games I have played. And while Anomen did not on the surface seem to be my ideal kind of man, my imagination was able to fill out enough of his character to make the romance make sense. Thanks to the great writers of BG2, this romance did not disappoint. I was, however, a little disappointed that they scrapped the Haer'Dalis romance (male player characters got three women to choose from to romance--not fair). Luckily, I got to have my tiefling fling in a later game...

Top 10 Characters I Want to Be

It seems like bloggers and columnists and other people who like to hear themselves talk (write) love to make lists. "Top 10 ___" lists and such. I managed to scrape together a Best and Worst 8 of '08 list, but generally, I am not well enough informed in any media to feel comfortable attempting "10 Best" lists--how the hell would I know what the best of anything is? I can, however, give lists of my personal favorites. So here I give you my Top 10 list of characters I want to be.

First, I'd like to establish the rules that I used when assembling this list. The characters can be from any medium, and they must all be fictional. In the case of video games, where a certain character may be different depending on how the player creates the character (good/evil, female/male, mage/fighter, etc.), I will consider the character as I imagined her. I will not take into account the relations that a character has; that is, if the best justification I have for including someone is "because she gets to sleep with ___", that person is getting knocked off the list (if I didn't do this, I might as well just make a "10 characters I'd get in bed with" list). This list is not merely a list of my favorite characters, though. Great characters are not always enviable. River Tam, for example, is pure awesomeness, but her brain was all experimented on and she's a bit crazy. Kara Thrace is one of the coolest characters on TV, but she lives under pretty bleak circumstances and may even be the harbinger of doom. I would not particularly want to be either of them. That said, this does not mean that I completely rule out people to whom bad things happen. As you'll see, not everyone on this list lives a rosy life.

A note: As it turns out, all the characters I have chosen are female (or can be female in the case of games). I didn't really do this on purpose. I guess I have an easier time imagining myself as a woman because I am one. Also, you'll notice that practically all of the characters are from the fantasy or sci-fi genres, which was not a requirement, but it makes sense. Why would I want to be anywhere else?

SPOILERS: I keep out the KotOR and Elfstones spoilers (some things are sacred), but things that are more commonly known or less likely to upset I may reveal, e.g., Eowyn kills the Witch-king (if that's news to you, why on Middle-earth have you not read or seen Return of the King yet?!).

******

Top 10 Characters I Want to Be

10. Kaylee Frye

Source: Firefly (TV show) and Serenity (movie)
Who is she: The real genius mechanic on Serenity, Kaylee is the heart of the crew, charming all with her cheerful attitude and teddy bear overalls.
Talents: She has an innate skill with spaceship mechanics--machines just "talk" to her.
Companions: Kaylee lives on Serenity with the rest of the crew: Mal, Zoe, Jayne, Wash, Inara, Book, Simon, and River.
Nemesis: She's so lovable and loving, who could possibly be her nemesis?
Admirer: Simon, the cute but awkward fugitive doctor on board, keeps getting close, but then he goes and says all the wrong things. Again.
Why I'd be her: She lives on a spaceship, has an indispensable talent, gets to take part in the escapades of Serenity's crew, and always manages to look on the bright side of life. It's a simple existence, but it's a nice one.

9. Fa Mulan
*
Source: Mulan (Disney movie)
Who is she: When her crippled father is called to join China's army against the Huns because he has no son to go in his stead, Mulan disguises herself as his son and takes his place. She eventually proves herself by saving the emperor himself from Shan-Yu.
Talents: She's armed with head-strong ambition, ingenuity, luck, some newly acquired fighting skills, and a beautiful singing voice just like Lea Salonga's.
Companions: Cri-Kee the lucky cricket and Mushu the mini-dragon come along to help her out.
Nemesis: She faces off with Hun leader Shan-Yu, as well as society's oppression of women.
Admirer: Mulan develops a thing for her handsome commanding officer Shang, and he returns those feelings once he comes to terms with the fact that she's a woman.
Why I'd be her: You ever feel like you're trapped, like you're not living you're own life, and you just wish you could follow your heart? Well, that's how Mulan felt, but she managed to find herself, break down the barriers placed in front of her by society, and become a national hero. Who wouldn't want such a happy Disney ending?
*I actually recently cut my own hair to shoulder length, donating the 13 inches that I cut off. Though sadly, I didn't use a sword.

8. Egwene al'Vere

Source: Wheel of Time (books by Robert Jordan)
Who is she: She grew up in the quiet, rural Two Rivers, but when Moiraine, a member of the influential order of female magic users called Aes Sedai, comes to town, Egwene is quickly swept up into the quagmire of dire circumstances involving the impending escape of the Dark One from his age-old prison. Her path leads her to become one of the most powerful Aes Sedai and to even make a claim for the Amyrlin Seat, the highest position of the Aes Sedai.
Talents: Not only is she one of the strongest living wielders of the magic of saidar, she is also multi-Talented with a capital "T"--she's the first Aes Sedai Dreamer in about five hundred years, and she has rediscovered the art of crafting the unbreakable cuendillar.
Companions: It's been a long road with many companions, but ones that merit special mention include childhood friend and Dragon Reborn Rand al'Thor, heir to Andor's throne Elayne, fellow Two Rivers villager-turned Aes Sedai Nynaeve, and Aviendha of the Aiel.
Nemesis: In addition to the baddies that every non-Darkfriend faces, such as the Forsaken and the Dark One himself, her particular adversary would be rival Amyrlin Elaida.
Admirer: Elayne's older brother Gawyn is in love with Egwene, but he unintentionally ends up on the wrong side of her power struggle with Elaida.
Why I'd be her: She goes from plain rural girl in a tiny village to one of the most powerful people in the world. She's come a long way, and with her smarts, skill, and determination, she just might succeed in the role she must play to save the world from the Dark One.

7. KotOR protagonist

Source: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (computer game)
Who is she: A new recruit in the forces of the Republic, the KotOR protagonist survives the attack on the Endire Spire, rescues the Jedi Bastila, becomes a Jedi padawan, and saves the galaxy from Darth Malak and his Sith followers.
Talents: The Force is strong with this one.
Companions: Over the course of the game, she gains nine companions: Bastila Shan, Captain Carth Onassi, Mission Vao, Zaalbar, Jolee Bindo, Juhani, Canderous Ordo, T3-M4, and HK-47.
Nemesis: Darth Malak, the new leader of the Sith, is her main adversary.
Admirer: Carth Onassi has some serious baggage, but he comes to love her in the end.
Why I'd be her: Whatever her past, she can find redemption in saving the galaxy. I think I read a lot more into her character than was provided in the game--her psychology, her philosophical crises--but she is one of the most fascinating characters whose heads I've gotten into. I don't know how her story ends, but until The Old Republic MMO comes out and smashes my dreams (and probably writes her as the male she is in canon--humph!) I can imagine whatever sappy, happy ending I like.

6. Éowyn

Source: The Lord of the Rings (books by J.R.R. Tolkien, and movie adaptations)
Who is she: A shield maiden of Rohan and niece of Rohan's king, Éowyn defeats leading Sauron pawn the Witch-king whom it is said no man can kill. After all, she is no man.
Talents: She's got some pretty mean sword skills, plus immense determination.
Companions: The Hobbit Merry accompanies her from Rohan to the Battle of Pelennor Fields and is a crucial part of her victory against the Witch-king.
Nemesis: The Witch-king of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûl, faces off with her in an epic battle.
Admirer: Faramir, a captain and son of the Steward of Gondor, meets her as she is recovering from the battle, and they soon fall in love.
Why I'd be her: She has some rough years there; she experiences great tragedy and strife, she is neglected for being a woman though she yearns to prove herself, and she is rejected by the ever attractive Aragorn. But she overcomes the obstacles before her, proves herself by defeating a foe that no one else could defeat, and lives happily in Ithilien with Faramir till the end of her days.

5. Amberle Elessedil

Source: The Elfstones of Shannara (book by Terry Brooks)
Who is she: When the Ellcrys, the sentient tree that prevents the Demons from invading the world, senses that it is dying, it chooses Amberle, granddaughter of Elven king Eventine Elessedil, as the one person who can restore it.
Talents: While the Ellcrys picks her as the first female Chosen in about five hundred years, this does not grant her any obvious special abilities... beyond the mere fact that she is the only one who can save the world.
Companions: Part-elven, blue Elfstone wielder Wil Ohmsford, Elven Hunter Crispin, and the Rover Eretria all accompany her at some point in her quest to restore the Ellcrys.
Nemeses: She faces Demons in general, as well as her inner demons--doubt and fear.
Admirer: Wil Ohmsford develops feelings for her as he protects her on her quest.
Why I'd be her: Her life wasn't an easy one, and it didn't end with the classic fairytale ending. But she came through and selflessly completed her task to save the world. She is the reason that Elfstones, rather than the earlier and more famous Sword of Shannara, is the right choice for the first Shannara movie.

4. Sydney Bristow

Source: Alias (TV show)
Who is she: A CIA secret agent and sometimes double agent, Sydney brings down countless destructive plots of evil organizations, kicking butts as well as saving butts in countless disguises.
Talents: She speaks basically every language fluently with a native accent, has super butt-kicking skills, can talk or fight herself out of any hairy situation, and, speaking of hair, she looks great in wigs of all styles and colors.
Companions: She works closely with her father Jack, who is also a double agent, her CIA handler Michael Vaughn, and her partner Dixon.
Nemesis: At least for the two seasons I saw, it was Arvin Sloane who was the object of all her loathing.
Admirer: Sydney had a serious thing for Michael Vaughn.
Why I'd be her: She's TV's coolest secret agent, a master of every skill a CIA agent could want. She is also a genuinely warm, fun, likable person. Hate to say it, but Olivia Dunham just can't hold a candle. Of course, I only saw the first two of the five seasons of Alias, so I don't know what happened to Sydney in the later seasons, but, assuming that she continued to win her battles in the end, she deserves a high spot on my list.

3. Commander Shepard

Source: Mass Effect (computer game)
Who is she: Already a hero of the human Alliance, Shepard becomes the first human Spectre, the Spectres being a group of elite operatives that directly serve the Council, the alien leaders of the known galaxy. Her first task as a Spectre is to bring down rogue Spectre Saren, and in so doing she discovers there are even greater dangers from which she must save the galaxy.
Talents: Shepard possesses keen survival skills, military prowess, and the player's choice of skills including usage of biotics, techs, or assault rifles.
Companions: Joining her on her mission to catch Saren are Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko, Chief Ashley Williams, and alien pals Garrus, Wrex, Tali, and Liara.
Nemesis: Her archenemy is Saren (along with his scary big spaceship).
Admirer: Shepard is greatly admired by Kaiden... and Liara as well, but sorry, the feeling is not mutual there.
Why I'd be her: She's a hero, she's even a bit of a celebrity, and she knows how to get the job done. And that job is saving all sentient life in the galaxy from total annihilation. She's smart, she's sexy, she's talented, and she makes sure she gets her way, because her way is the right way.

2. Hermione Granger

Source: Harry Potter series (books by J.K. Rowling, and movie adaptations)
Who is she: A brainy muggle-born witch, Hermione is a best friend of Harry Potter and a crucial part of the team to save the world from You-Know-Who.
Talents: She's not just any witch--she's the cleverest witch in famous Harry Potter's class.
Companions: Hogwarts pals Harry Potter and Ron Weasley stick together with her from book one until the end.
Nemesis: He's perhaps more of Harry's nemesis, but Lord Voldemort is the one they're all out to defeat.
Admirer: As they start to mature, it becomes apparent that she and Ron Weasley are meant for each other.
Why I'd be her: She's brilliant, she's magical, she has cool friends, she helps save the world, and she gets a happy ending. What more could I want?

1. Gorion's Ward

Source: Baldur's Gate, Baldur's Gate II (computer games)
Who is she: Raised by Gorion at the Candlekeep library, she turns out to be a Child of Bhaal, a status which leads her on many adventures, some by choice and others not. Her decisions have great significance to the world and all the planes.
Talents: Player's choice for the most part, but the ability to turn into the Slayer is a guaranteed bonus.
Companions: In her travels, she encounters about sixteen people willing to join her, including childhood companion Imoen, crazy ranger Minsc, and the druid Jaheira.
Nemeses: Gorion's ward faces a new nemesis in each installment: blood-thirsty brother Sarevok in the original, malicious wizard Irenicus in Baldur's Gate 2: Shadows of Amn, and mad priestess Melissan in BG2: Throne of Bhaal.
Admirer: Pompous knight Anomen Delryn falls in love with her over the course of their adventures together.
Why I'd be her: It's rough being a Child of Bhaal, but saving the world from big baddies like Sarevok and Irenicus and helping lots of people on the side sounds good to me. She also gets to hang with the coolest group of NPCs in any game I've ever played. And while her decision at the end of Throne of Bhaal is a tough one, it's not entirely unenviable.

******

Well, that's my list. The order was tough to decide, but I stand by my ten choices. So am I crazy? Am I right on? Who would you be?

New Header!

I have a new header image for my blog! I am very excited about this, since I've been bored with the simple text header for a while. My blog now looks ten times cooler than it did before. I've had the sidebar pictures for several months, but since you have to scroll down to see them, they don't help decorate the page when you first load it. I may make edits to the header picture to make it look better (it's hard to find text colors that will show up well on picture backgrounds), but I'm pretty pleased with what I have.

Since I don't have anything else to say in this post, I thought I'd explain my picture choices for both the sidebar and the header. All of the pictures are taken from RPGs I have played, and all of them are in some way related to my "RPG called Life" theme. The sidebar pictures represent the Seven Ages of Man as described in Jacques' famous "All the world's a stage" monologue in Shakespeare's As You Like It.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;

Taken from the opening montage of Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn, I have a Child of Bhaal infant. It's a pretty creepy baby, but kind of cool.

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school...

Representing the school-boy I have Kipp of West Harbor, from the tutorial of the Neverwinter Nights 2 original campaign.

And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow...

For the lover, I have Sir Anomen Delryn from Baldur's Gate II. Of all the potential lovers from the RPGs I've played, Anomen had the best cheesy lover kind of look to him.

Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth...

Chief Ashley Williams from Mass Effect represents the soldier. Her character class is appropriately "Soldier", and I get the sense she's fairly recognizable in that pink and white Phoenix armor. And I got her in a cool pose.

And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part...

I think ideally I might have had Keldorn for the justice, but since I already had two BG2 images, I decided to take Master Vrook from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. He's old but not so old that he's unfit, and being a Jedi Master he's a fair character to represent justice, if not necessarily Shakespeare's idea of the justice. He is also probably more memorable than the other Jedi Masters in KotOR, since he showed up in the sequel as well and was voiced by Ed Asner.

The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound...

Deckard Cain, of course. He was in the original Diablo and will be in Diablo III, but this image is Cain in the Rogue Encampment in Diablo II. We love Cain--he has that handy item identification service, even if we never do bother to stay a while and listen--but he definitely counts as a pantaloon.

Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

This "last scene" seems to include both the childish helplessness that may come soon before death and death itself. I chose a picture to represent the "oblivion" part since it was more interesting. Here I have a picture of triple-death from Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer. It is the dead god Myrkul, former God of the Dead. Of course, dead gods float around in this other plane for a while, so to make him even deader than a dead god of the dead, my character has destroyed his spirit. See? Triple dead.

The four pictures that make up my new header image are not linked to each other but each represent the RPG called Life theme in some way themselves. In basically every RPG, characters have a certain number that represents how close they are to death. This number is generally called "health", "life", or "hit points"--I tend to use these terms interchangeably--but they basically all represent the fact that a character is alive. The image of the large red globe in the upper center of the header is the life/health globe from Diablo II; here it is full, meaning the character is fully healthy, but it will empty as the character is injured. The picture on the left of the header banner is my player character in Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer, standing at the glowing ash tree in the Ashenwood drinking a Potion of Heal, thus replenishing her life. The picture on the right is my Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn party at the Tree of Life in Suldanessellar, trying to retrieve the player character's soul from Jon Irenicus, the man in the glowing orb. And lastly, I have a shot of my Commander Shepard from Mass Effect. The screen shot is from the character profile page, which in addition to showing her "Health" statistic at the top right also shows the "Paragon" and "Renegade" bars. As the game is played, each bar will fill up according to the player's choices--Is Shepard a paragon of good and noble behavior, or does she have a rebellious streak, driven to get the job done without regard to the cost? But this shot is from the beginning of the game, before Shepard has made any of these decisions. She's a blank slate. She looks out, questioning What paths will I choose in life?

Well, that's the full disclosure on my pictures. Enjoy!


Edit: This has now been updated. See new post here.

Appreciating Voiceover Artists and Voice Actors

Don LaFontaine, the "King of Voiceovers" passed away yesterday at the age of 68 (see Variety's article on his passing here). You may not know his name, you may not know his face, but I'm willing to bet that you know his voice. I first learned his name and face a few years ago when I watched this funny video featuring LaFontaine and four other top voiceover artists. I still remember seeing it for the first time, wondering why the man in the limo was lipsynching to the voiceover, when I realized that he was the voiceover man himself! It was somehow very comical seeing an actual person speak with a voice that has grown so familiar over the years--a voice that I recognize but can't quite place simply because I have heard it in too many places. LaFontaine provided the voiceovers for the trailers of over 5,000 movies. He certainly kept busy. We have lost a great talent in an important but under-recognized art.

Voice actors, while distinct from voiceover artists, are similarly underappreciated. The current fad in animated movies seems to be assembling a star-studded cast to provide all the lead and featured voices in the movie. Some of these big name castings work out better than others--I myself get annoyed when an animated creature looks and sounds exactly (and sometimes disturbingly) like, for instance, Will Smith. But the big names can frequently lead to big returns at the box office (there are some notable failures, as well as notable successes that do not feature celebrities), further encouraging studios to cast the stars for their voices. This trend makes life even harder than it already is for the career voice actors--people generally more versatile, more creative, more dedicated to shaping a character out of a distinctive voice than the celebrities increasingly replacing them. It is an unfortunate trend.

To show my appreciation for these hard-working voice actors, I'd like to recognize here my favorite voice actors--basically, the people who have caught my attention through a variety of voices in computer games and cartoons.

Jim Cummings
I know Jim Cummings oh so well as the voice of Minsc in the great Baldur's Gate series. Everyone I know who has played Baldur's Gate has agreed that Minsc, with his miniature giant space hamster Boo, is their favorite character. Who wouldn't love that big oaf, on a valiant quest to give evil a good butt-kicking? Hilarious dialogue by the talented BG writers still needed Cummings' eccentric voice to bring it to life and turn Minsc into a lovable character whom players can feel like they really know. In addition to doing assorted other voices in the BG series, Cummings has provided his voice talents to such classics as Shrek and Aladdin, as well as for the beloved characters of Tigger and Winnie the Pooh!

Jennifer Hale
Dynaheir, Mazzy, Bastila, and Commander Shepard (female, obviously)--I have become very familiar with Jennifer Hale's voice through her roles in Baldur's Gate, Baldur's Gate 2, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and Mass Effect. Her voice is my voice in Mass Effect (Commander Shepard is the player character), as well as the voice of the ship's computer and a couple people on Feros, I believe (her flexible voice and accents can make her difficult to recognize). I was also pleased to pick her out in a number of guest roles in the Justice League cartoons I recently watched.

Rob Paulsen
One of my small personal triumphs came when watching a Honda commercial and thinking, Hmm, that voice sounds oddly familiar... somewhere between Anomen and Yakko... Hey, it must be Rob Paulsen! In addition to providing the voice of Mr. Opportunity in those persistent Honda commercials, Paulsen voiced a number of notable characters in Animaniacs--Yakko Warner, Pinky, and Otto Scratchensniff--and in Baldur's Gate 2, including both party member Anomen and his hated nemesis Saerk (when I recognized the voice on my second play through, it added a bit of comedy to their confrontation). That's right, the same guy who did Anomen did Yakko and Pinky. Try to picture Anomen singing "United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama..." or exclaiming, "Narf!" For those who don't know who Anomen is, he's the knightly prick third down in my compilation of pictures in the sidebar of the blog (and unfairly the only romance option for us playing female PCs in BG2). Paulsen does lots of other versatile voices as well--I picked him out in Justice League, plus I know he has done the voice of Ninja Turtle Raphael.

Jason Marsden
I remember Jason Marsden in live action back in my elementary/middle school days on "Step by Step". I didn't clue into the fact that he was an active voice actor until watching the DVD extras for Spirited Away (he's Haku), and realizing that he had also done a number of voices in the Baldur's Gate series, including party members Ajantis (original BG) and Cernd (BG2) and Lilarcor, the talking sword. I have since then picked him out in KotOR and in--sense a pattern here?--the Justice League cartoons.

Mark Hamill
Unlike the others on this list, I have not grown familiar with Mark Hamill's voice acting through a number of computer games. In fact, the times that I've heard his voice in assorted cartoons, I found it totally unrecognizable even knowing it was him. I have him on this list because so many people wonder, Whatever happened to Mark Hamill after Star Wars? Well, he is a busy voice actor, that's what. While he has had many roles on many different shows, I know his voice best as the Joker in a number of DC cartoon series (including, as you may have guessed, Justice League). I find this fact pretty wild.

Now, I feel I should note that I may have omitted these actors' most famous roles in my selected filmographies. I have merely listed the places that I know the actors from off the top of my head. All I mean to say to these and other voice actors is this: While your faces and names may not be as well known as those of Jerry Seinfeld or Bruce Willis, your voices are a much more welcome sound. I, for one, am listening.

My Favorite Things

It may be our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities, but as far as this blog is concerned, my interests are what define me. So here are a few of my favorite things.
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BOOKS
Lord of the Rings (ah, the classics)
Harry Potter (Rowling is amazing, pulling kids of all ages away from their TV and computer screens and making them actually read a book)
His Dark Materials (I wish The Golden Compass movie had done better, since I think the other two could make better movies... though notice that it was a huge hit on the international markets)
Wheel of Time (at least the early ones... what's going to happen now?)
Shannara ("Sword" is a total LotR ripoff, but a couple others had some more original story lines)
Redwall (my tweenage introduction to the world of fantasy... I owe it so much)
Watchmen (I don't have much experience with graphic novels but holy crap, this one's amazing)

TV
Firefly (tragically short)
Battlestar Galactica (the new series, naturally... nothing puts me on edge like a good BSG episode)
LOST (back on its game in Season 4)
Heroes (please make Season 3 good again)
Pushing Daisies (Kristin Chenowith bursts into song--what more do I need to fall in love with a show?)
Sarah Connor Chronicles (yay, Summer Glau!)
Chuck (yay, Adam Baldwin!)
I also started watching Desperate Housewives last season, which was kind of out of the blue (okay, it was because I saw Nathan Fillion)

MOVIES
This is actually kind of difficult. It's not like TV shows or book series where I choose a few stories to follow and devote significant time to them. I see so many movies (I have over 200 rated on my IMDb account, and these are just the ones that I took the time to grade), and because I spend so much of my free time doing things other than re-watching movies (see the final category), I love lots of movies that I don't necessarily own or view over and over again. Also, this category is definitely the least restricted by genre. Below are a few notable favorites, though the list is hardly exhaustive.

Lord of the Rings (all three without a doubt, my favorite movies of all time)
Star Wars (I'll even watch the new ones--I don't care if they're bad)
Serenity (naturally)
Pirates of the Caribbean (mainly the first one... it was such a surprise when it turned out to be good)
The Matrix (definitely just the first one)
Batman Begins (a revelation compared to the previous installments)
The Dark Knight (a dark masterpiece)
Iron Man (I knew Robert Downey Jr. was awesome ever since seeing...)
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
X-Men (particularly the first two)
Garden State
Robin Hood: Men in Tights

COMPUTER GAMES
Baldur's Gate (especially Shadows of Amn, though as a complete saga it is unparalleled)
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (I loved both 1 and 2, though the first holds a special place in my heart)
Neverwinter Nights (I played the original and its two expansions; all three were a bit disappointing in terms of story, but I liked them anyway)
Neverwinter Nights 2 (I really liked how Mask of the Betrayer worked out; the original campaign was pretty good)
Diablo II (though I was really just a sorceress enthusiast; I couldn't get into any of the others)
Morrowind (I enjoyed it, but I haven't exactly snatched up Oblivion)
Hellgate: London (I used to play with my brothers online, but now the servers have been shut down. Very sad.)
Mass Effect (awesome. just... awesome)

I mostly don't do console games these days (since I'm kind of lacking in the console department), though I did grow up with a Sega Genesis (I was a master at Streets of Rage 2). The following two games deserve a mention on the list, since I did spend a long time completing them:
Final Fantasy Tactics (on my little brother's PlayStation)
Pokémon (when I was your age, there were only 150 Pokémon... and I caught them all)

So for the most part, I do RPGs and action RPGs (and in middle school I did whatever Pokémon counts as). I've dabbled in RTS and TBS (emphasis on "dabbled"... but I did a few missions here and there in Warcraft 2 and 3 and Heroes of Might and Magic 3, for instance, back in the day), but I've never gotten into a good FPS. And I've definitely never done an MMORPG. That is intentional; I'd like to keep my soul for now, thank you very much. (Note: to anyone who doesn't know what these abbreviations mean, look them up--it's good for you. I was kind enough to write out full computer game titles, at least.)

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While some may say that it is not who we are underneath but what we do that defines us, knowing which movies and books I like and which games I've played can give a person a good look inside my head. These favorites may not show who I am, but they show who I want to be. They show what my daydreams are, and what is more our own--more ourselves--than our dreams?

All right, I'm getting a little cheesy-philosophical (on a totally unrelated note, I tried to explain to a visiting Japanese woman yesterday what "cheesy" meant... it was very difficult, especially when I tried to compare it to "corny"--big mistake), and I now seem to be digressing extensively. It's time for bed. Eleni out.