I'm not really a poet. My blog has two previous poems; one's a silly sonnet and the other is just four lines of bad Quenya. I've never thought that my poems were particularly good, so I don't often try to write them. But some things just don't seem right in prose. I could write a simple three sentences telling what happened, but that would make it too small and insignificant. I could explain in detail why this little incident struck a chord in me, but that would be too explicit for something so mundane. This story, I think, is best addressed with an attempt at a poem. Here goes. My apologies in advance.
On the lawn I pass
On my walk to work,
I found not one
But two four-leaf clovers.
What double luck!
I thought to pluck,
To press, to keep them
In a book,
Dry and shriveled
Yet preserved,
But chose to leave them
Let them lie
To grow and live
Their lives complete
And marked their place
That I might return
To look upon
Their lucky leaves
Fortunate foliage
Another day.
But then the lawnmower
Lopped off their heads.
Eight leaves of luck
Eight hundred shreds
Now scattered and lost
In the grass.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
"Sexy socks" guest post for Sebastian
Wow, today is a guest-post-apalooza for me. Funny how these things turn out. I now have a guest post up on Sebastian's blog. Sebastian is a geek in the greatest sense. He knows more than I do about gaming and musicals, he takes beautiful photos, details his strange and exciting adventures around the world, gives astute analyses of varied topics including geeks, love, and religion, and is quite funny. My post for Theories of Anything was all about my own fantasies. My guest post for Sebastian is more about fulfilling his fantasies!
Thus far, the pictures I've posted of myself on my blog have shown that I dress fairly conservatively and am partial to long skirts. The pictures I have put in my guest post for Sebastian are a bit different. Long socks, pointe shoes, and a miniskirt. For me, that's scandalous. Why am I wearing these things? It has something to do with Dollhouse, the season finale of which airs tonight on FOX at 9pm. For the rest of the story, though, you'll have to read the post!
Thus far, the pictures I've posted of myself on my blog have shown that I dress fairly conservatively and am partial to long skirts. The pictures I have put in my guest post for Sebastian are a bit different. Long socks, pointe shoes, and a miniskirt. For me, that's scandalous. Why am I wearing these things? It has something to do with Dollhouse, the season finale of which airs tonight on FOX at 9pm. For the rest of the story, though, you'll have to read the post!
"My Identity" guest post at Theories of Anything
After last week Tuesday's metaphysical discussion of identity, I guess it's somewhat fitting to follow it up with a discussion of my identity, or at least one small aspect of it. But you won't find it here. Today I have my first guest post!
Als at Theories of Anything had a series of guest bloggers for the month of April writing on the theme of "My Identity." I decided to jump on the bandwagon and do a guest post. I swear I got it in a couple days before the end of the month, she just chose not to post it until now. So head on over there to read my guest post. It's a bit out there (and by that I mean it reveals my supremely geeky nature, to a greater extent than I have on my blog if that's possible), and it addresses one of those "uncomfortable truths" of mine, so just appreciate how naked I feel and then maybe forget about it. Als's blog is great, so once you're there, stick around to check it out--she has some lovely poems (I love the four-part butterfly poem), some insightful essays and commentaries, and discussions of books and music that she enjoys.
This is my very first guest post! Hooray for the blogger community. Enjoy!
Update: Some time since hosting this guest post series, Als decided to make her blog invitation only. So, if you want to read the post, I've copied it below:
Guest post originally for Theories of Anything
If you were to meet me in real life, you would probably conclude that I'm a fairly normal girl who pretty much has her life all together. I graduated from a prestigious college, I've been working in environmental research for almost two years, and in the fall I will begin working towards a Ph.D. in oceanography. I take care of myself with a healthy lifestyle and maintain a normal social life. In fact, plenty of people know me a long time without ever learning that I am a total geek.
Now, geeks come in many flavors, but I fall primarily in the fantasy/sci-fi gamer realm of geekdom. My favorite movies and TV shows are in the sci-fi or fantasy genres, I read almost exclusively fantasy novels, and, perhaps most notably, I devote an appalling amount of my time to playing computer games. My favorite games are fantasy or sci-fi role-playing games (RPGs), particularly ones with complex, engaging storylines; ideally, playing an RPG should be like watching a movie or TV show except that you're in control of the main character.
Like most fans of the fantasy (and sci-fi) genre, I love it for the escape. Fantasy worlds offer magic and spaceships. The characters are always getting swept off into exciting adventures to save the world. What better way to escape from the boredom and harsh realities of the Real World than to dive into another world governed by completely different rules? What escape can be more thrilling and satisfying than saving the galaxy from evil? Books or movies allow the reader or viewer to live vicariously through the characters; RPGs go a step further by allowing the player to step into their shoes. It's almost like becoming one of the characters.
But just almost. Once in a while you hear stories about obsessive, addicted gamers who eschew their real lives for their in-game "second lives". I'm not like that. I know what's real and what's not, and I know better than to sacrifice my real life for the benefit of a virtual game. My true identity is clear; my love of fantasy and gaming has not given me any sort of identity crisis.
At least, I do a very good job of hiding my fantasy-related identity issues—even from myself. Only occasionally do these feelings surface, and they are always quickly suppressed. But delving into a personal journal that I kept while in college—a private journal that I never intended anyone else to see—I found some disturbing evidence of my identity issues:
Though I am loathe to admit it, when confronted with this pitiful honesty, I cannot deny that I still relate to the person who wrote it. The truth is, there is a part of me that feels a strong kinship with my computer game characters. These characters live in fantastical worlds I find preferable to our own, live lives more exciting than my own, and because I control them in the game, they reflect my opinions and choices—they reflect a piece of me. This is not actually an exclusively game-related phenomenon. You name any fantasy or sci-fi world that I've ever loved—Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, X-Men, Heroes, Star Wars—and you can bet I've daydreamed about who I would be in that world. Frequently. I have had more of these fantasy identities than I can remember.
I know that these identities are just fantasies. They are illusory daydreams hidden beneath the real me who is just a normal, cheerful girl contributing her part to society. It has been said, after all, that it's not who we are underneath but what we do that defines us*. If we subscribe to that philosophy, my identity is defined by my successful young career as an environmental scientist and my healthy relationships with the people around me, not by these false fantasies.
If we subscribe to that philosophy. It is true that what we do in life defines us to the outside world. Our actions are what really matter, since they are what the rest of the world will witness and remember. The world doesn't care about our hidden thoughts. Our actions echo through the future, while our inner feelings die with us. Still, what we do is influenced by other people, limited by the world and the circumstances under which we live. Our dreams, in contrast, are unfiltered by reality. In that sense, what is more our own—more ourselves—than our dreams?
The way our unrealistic dreams have any relevance is through our personal happiness. My actions may affect the world around me in a tangible way, but when I compare my real life to my fantasies, it affects how I feel. Like many twenty-somethings, I spend a lot of time struggling to find my role in life. And my fantasy identities are always there to taunt me: You will never matter as much to your world as Commander Shepard or Gorion's Ward matter to theirs! These characters torture me because I love them but I know they can never be real. How can I ever be satisfied with my life when I compare myself to superheroes? How can I find my place in the world when I yearn for a different universe? Some day, I may mature enough to let these false dreams go. But until then, fantasy will remain my escape—and my prison.
*My fellow geeks may have identified this as a reference to Batman Begins.
Als at Theories of Anything had a series of guest bloggers for the month of April writing on the theme of "My Identity." I decided to jump on the bandwagon and do a guest post. I swear I got it in a couple days before the end of the month, she just chose not to post it until now. So head on over there to read my guest post. It's a bit out there (and by that I mean it reveals my supremely geeky nature, to a greater extent than I have on my blog if that's possible), and it addresses one of those "uncomfortable truths" of mine, so just appreciate how naked I feel and then maybe forget about it. Als's blog is great, so once you're there, stick around to check it out--she has some lovely poems (I love the four-part butterfly poem), some insightful essays and commentaries, and discussions of books and music that she enjoys.
This is my very first guest post! Hooray for the blogger community. Enjoy!
Update: Some time since hosting this guest post series, Als decided to make her blog invitation only. So, if you want to read the post, I've copied it below:
Guest post originally for Theories of Anything
If you were to meet me in real life, you would probably conclude that I'm a fairly normal girl who pretty much has her life all together. I graduated from a prestigious college, I've been working in environmental research for almost two years, and in the fall I will begin working towards a Ph.D. in oceanography. I take care of myself with a healthy lifestyle and maintain a normal social life. In fact, plenty of people know me a long time without ever learning that I am a total geek.
Now, geeks come in many flavors, but I fall primarily in the fantasy/sci-fi gamer realm of geekdom. My favorite movies and TV shows are in the sci-fi or fantasy genres, I read almost exclusively fantasy novels, and, perhaps most notably, I devote an appalling amount of my time to playing computer games. My favorite games are fantasy or sci-fi role-playing games (RPGs), particularly ones with complex, engaging storylines; ideally, playing an RPG should be like watching a movie or TV show except that you're in control of the main character.
Like most fans of the fantasy (and sci-fi) genre, I love it for the escape. Fantasy worlds offer magic and spaceships. The characters are always getting swept off into exciting adventures to save the world. What better way to escape from the boredom and harsh realities of the Real World than to dive into another world governed by completely different rules? What escape can be more thrilling and satisfying than saving the galaxy from evil? Books or movies allow the reader or viewer to live vicariously through the characters; RPGs go a step further by allowing the player to step into their shoes. It's almost like becoming one of the characters.
But just almost. Once in a while you hear stories about obsessive, addicted gamers who eschew their real lives for their in-game "second lives". I'm not like that. I know what's real and what's not, and I know better than to sacrifice my real life for the benefit of a virtual game. My true identity is clear; my love of fantasy and gaming has not given me any sort of identity crisis.
At least, I do a very good job of hiding my fantasy-related identity issues—even from myself. Only occasionally do these feelings surface, and they are always quickly suppressed. But delving into a personal journal that I kept while in college—a private journal that I never intended anyone else to see—I found some disturbing evidence of my identity issues:
5/12/05
If I should die, keep my computer, for it holds the people I wish I could be.
Though I am loathe to admit it, when confronted with this pitiful honesty, I cannot deny that I still relate to the person who wrote it. The truth is, there is a part of me that feels a strong kinship with my computer game characters. These characters live in fantastical worlds I find preferable to our own, live lives more exciting than my own, and because I control them in the game, they reflect my opinions and choices—they reflect a piece of me. This is not actually an exclusively game-related phenomenon. You name any fantasy or sci-fi world that I've ever loved—Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, X-Men, Heroes, Star Wars—and you can bet I've daydreamed about who I would be in that world. Frequently. I have had more of these fantasy identities than I can remember.
I know that these identities are just fantasies. They are illusory daydreams hidden beneath the real me who is just a normal, cheerful girl contributing her part to society. It has been said, after all, that it's not who we are underneath but what we do that defines us*. If we subscribe to that philosophy, my identity is defined by my successful young career as an environmental scientist and my healthy relationships with the people around me, not by these false fantasies.
If we subscribe to that philosophy. It is true that what we do in life defines us to the outside world. Our actions are what really matter, since they are what the rest of the world will witness and remember. The world doesn't care about our hidden thoughts. Our actions echo through the future, while our inner feelings die with us. Still, what we do is influenced by other people, limited by the world and the circumstances under which we live. Our dreams, in contrast, are unfiltered by reality. In that sense, what is more our own—more ourselves—than our dreams?
The way our unrealistic dreams have any relevance is through our personal happiness. My actions may affect the world around me in a tangible way, but when I compare my real life to my fantasies, it affects how I feel. Like many twenty-somethings, I spend a lot of time struggling to find my role in life. And my fantasy identities are always there to taunt me: You will never matter as much to your world as Commander Shepard or Gorion's Ward matter to theirs! These characters torture me because I love them but I know they can never be real. How can I ever be satisfied with my life when I compare myself to superheroes? How can I find my place in the world when I yearn for a different universe? Some day, I may mature enough to let these false dreams go. But until then, fantasy will remain my escape—and my prison.
*My fellow geeks may have identified this as a reference to Batman Begins.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Turtles, Wolverine, Real-world Hobbits and more!
It's been a long time since my last post on entertainment news that I found fun and interesting. Let's see what has happened since then...
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles celebrated their 25th birthday at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York City on April 23 (Variety, IMDb). Fans celebrated the Ninja Turtles with special events including a screening of the original Ninja Turtle movie, and the Empire State Building was even lit up "turtle green" for the day. The event coincided with the news that the franchise would be brought back for a new live action movie probably around 2011. Ah, the childhood memories. My brothers and I were fans growing up, collecting various action figures including one that talked if you pulled a red strip of plastic through its shell (wow, that seems so primitive now). One of my parents' favorite baby stories is how my little brother used to call "pizza" "bunga nummins", which was baby brother speak for "Ninja Turtle food" (work with me here--"bunga" as in "Cowabunga!", and "nummins" as in the noun form of "num, num, num" which is obviously what you say when you're eating). I can't say I've really kept up with them--I didn't see the 2007 TMNT movie--but the '80s/'90s child in me is happy to hear they're still around.
Tracking the future of "my shows"... ABC has picked up Lost for another season, though this was already assumed since they made a deal before Season 4 to end the show at the end of Season 6 (next season). Castle, starring Nathan Fillion, is still on the bubble (Variety). Fox gave an early pickup for another season of Fringe (Variety). I already reported that Sarah Connor hadn't been renewed, and I have yet to hear a decision about Dollhouse. The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother, my two CBS sitcoms, will both be returning in the fall. NBC renewed Heroes, though it has fallen far from its lofty first season status. Chuck remains on the bubble. More decisions may be made in the next week or so. I love my shows, and I don't want any of them cancelled, but as you might have seen when I listed everything that I watch, my schedule is pretty full. It might be healthy for me if a few more were cancelled.
I've mentioned Gore Verbinski's planned live-action movie adaptation of BioShock a couple times (actually it made an appearance in what was basically my blog's first real post). The project has been put on hold, a victim of the bad economy (Variety, IMDb). Apparently, once the budget passed $160 million, executives at Universal Pictures halted production and let some production team members go. Verbinski is looking for ways to cut the budget, including a possible location move to London. The IMDb short mentions that Wentworth Miller, one of the two stars of Prison Break, is rumored to be starring in the movie. I like him. (I bought Mariah Carey's music video of "We Belong Together" on iTunes because he plays the boy with whom she belongs. Yes.) If this movie will bring him to the big screen, then I wholly support it. Save the BioShock movie!
Word on the boulevard is that Guy Ritchie, known for directing gangster/crime films such as Snatch and the upcoming Downey/Law Sherlock Holmes, is planning on directing a musical (IMDb). But you know what makes this even better? He's in talks to do this musical with B-action king Jason Statham (who did Snatch with Ritchie back in the day and has since done The Transporter, Crank, Death Race, The Bank Job, The Italian Job, etc.). Oh boy. We'll see if anything comes of this.
This was tagged on IMDb last week: The Biology of B-Movie Monsters. Mostly it analyzes the problems that unnaturally large or small creatures/people would face that are not recognized by the movies that feature them. It is so awesome. My Bridge of Khazad-dûm paper just can't measure up. No pun intended. Luckily, I think my Balrog is exempt from most of the criticisms presented in the article, seeing as it's a magical monster made out of molten rock.
I mentioned that ABC had greenlit a pilot for a new sci-fi TV series called "V", based on the original 1980s miniseries. But now I have heard that Alan Tudyk (aka Wash of Firefly) is starring in it! In a recent interview with Alan Tudyk, Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello mentioned in one question "I'm assuming your role in ABC's V reboot--assuming that it gets picked up--could pose a complication...." (EW.com, but WARNING: Dollhouse SPOILERS from the 5/1/09 episode immediately once you get there). I love Alan Tudyk (Fun Fact: I saw him on Broadway in Spamalot). He's awesome. My interest in the show "V" is definitely greater knowing he's in it.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine is barely out in theaters, and they're already planning for another Wolverine sequel (Variety, IMDb). I have not seen the new Wolverine yet because I heard it is disappointing (if one of my friends wanted to see it, I'd go, but I won't try to convince anyone to see it with me if it's going to be bad). I probably will see it at some point, since I like X-Men and I like Hugh Jackman (Fun Fact: I saw him on Broadway in The Boy from Oz). But if this one wasn't very good, I don't have high hopes for the quality of its sequel. The news doesn't stop with Wolverine. Twentieth Century Fox is planning another spinoff movie focusing on Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson, played by Ryan Reynolds in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Variety, IMDb). I gotta say, he is easy on the eyes, and the bit from the trailer in which he slices a bullet coming towards him in half and the two halves hit the attackers behind him was pretty sweet. But I really have my doubts about how good that one will turn out. A spinoff of a bad spinoff? Doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
How about a bit of real-world news? Has anyone heard about what are being called the Indonesian "Hobbit" people? Scientists discovered skeletons of 3 foot tall, 65 pound humans on the Indonesian island of Flores back in 2004, but they have recently concluded that this is a new species of human, rather than some variation of previous species (BBC News). I love that they're being called "Hobbits," though apparently their feet are not as big as the Hobbits of Middle Earth. A shame.
Lastly, critical consensus seems to indicate that the new Star Trek movie will be totally awesome! See compilations of reviews here, here, and here. It opens on Friday, May 8 (tomorrow), though some theaters will not only have midnight screenings but various screenings earlier this evening. It probably won't do as well as Wolverine did last week because the franchise hasn't had the recent blockbuster success that X-Men had (basically, Star Trek isn't tracking as well among younger people, since it's staler in people's minds). But it's undoubtedly a better movie, and it should do better at the box office. So go out and see it. Get your friends to see it. Support Star Trek!
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles celebrated their 25th birthday at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York City on April 23 (Variety, IMDb). Fans celebrated the Ninja Turtles with special events including a screening of the original Ninja Turtle movie, and the Empire State Building was even lit up "turtle green" for the day. The event coincided with the news that the franchise would be brought back for a new live action movie probably around 2011. Ah, the childhood memories. My brothers and I were fans growing up, collecting various action figures including one that talked if you pulled a red strip of plastic through its shell (wow, that seems so primitive now). One of my parents' favorite baby stories is how my little brother used to call "pizza" "bunga nummins", which was baby brother speak for "Ninja Turtle food" (work with me here--"bunga" as in "Cowabunga!", and "nummins" as in the noun form of "num, num, num" which is obviously what you say when you're eating). I can't say I've really kept up with them--I didn't see the 2007 TMNT movie--but the '80s/'90s child in me is happy to hear they're still around.
Tracking the future of "my shows"... ABC has picked up Lost for another season, though this was already assumed since they made a deal before Season 4 to end the show at the end of Season 6 (next season). Castle, starring Nathan Fillion, is still on the bubble (Variety). Fox gave an early pickup for another season of Fringe (Variety). I already reported that Sarah Connor hadn't been renewed, and I have yet to hear a decision about Dollhouse. The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother, my two CBS sitcoms, will both be returning in the fall. NBC renewed Heroes, though it has fallen far from its lofty first season status. Chuck remains on the bubble. More decisions may be made in the next week or so. I love my shows, and I don't want any of them cancelled, but as you might have seen when I listed everything that I watch, my schedule is pretty full. It might be healthy for me if a few more were cancelled.
I've mentioned Gore Verbinski's planned live-action movie adaptation of BioShock a couple times (actually it made an appearance in what was basically my blog's first real post). The project has been put on hold, a victim of the bad economy (Variety, IMDb). Apparently, once the budget passed $160 million, executives at Universal Pictures halted production and let some production team members go. Verbinski is looking for ways to cut the budget, including a possible location move to London. The IMDb short mentions that Wentworth Miller, one of the two stars of Prison Break, is rumored to be starring in the movie. I like him. (I bought Mariah Carey's music video of "We Belong Together" on iTunes because he plays the boy with whom she belongs. Yes.) If this movie will bring him to the big screen, then I wholly support it. Save the BioShock movie!
Word on the boulevard is that Guy Ritchie, known for directing gangster/crime films such as Snatch and the upcoming Downey/Law Sherlock Holmes, is planning on directing a musical (IMDb). But you know what makes this even better? He's in talks to do this musical with B-action king Jason Statham (who did Snatch with Ritchie back in the day and has since done The Transporter, Crank, Death Race, The Bank Job, The Italian Job, etc.). Oh boy. We'll see if anything comes of this.
This was tagged on IMDb last week: The Biology of B-Movie Monsters. Mostly it analyzes the problems that unnaturally large or small creatures/people would face that are not recognized by the movies that feature them. It is so awesome. My Bridge of Khazad-dûm paper just can't measure up. No pun intended. Luckily, I think my Balrog is exempt from most of the criticisms presented in the article, seeing as it's a magical monster made out of molten rock.
I mentioned that ABC had greenlit a pilot for a new sci-fi TV series called "V", based on the original 1980s miniseries. But now I have heard that Alan Tudyk (aka Wash of Firefly) is starring in it! In a recent interview with Alan Tudyk, Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello mentioned in one question "I'm assuming your role in ABC's V reboot--assuming that it gets picked up--could pose a complication...." (EW.com, but WARNING: Dollhouse SPOILERS from the 5/1/09 episode immediately once you get there). I love Alan Tudyk (Fun Fact: I saw him on Broadway in Spamalot). He's awesome. My interest in the show "V" is definitely greater knowing he's in it.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine is barely out in theaters, and they're already planning for another Wolverine sequel (Variety, IMDb). I have not seen the new Wolverine yet because I heard it is disappointing (if one of my friends wanted to see it, I'd go, but I won't try to convince anyone to see it with me if it's going to be bad). I probably will see it at some point, since I like X-Men and I like Hugh Jackman (Fun Fact: I saw him on Broadway in The Boy from Oz). But if this one wasn't very good, I don't have high hopes for the quality of its sequel. The news doesn't stop with Wolverine. Twentieth Century Fox is planning another spinoff movie focusing on Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson, played by Ryan Reynolds in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Variety, IMDb). I gotta say, he is easy on the eyes, and the bit from the trailer in which he slices a bullet coming towards him in half and the two halves hit the attackers behind him was pretty sweet. But I really have my doubts about how good that one will turn out. A spinoff of a bad spinoff? Doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
How about a bit of real-world news? Has anyone heard about what are being called the Indonesian "Hobbit" people? Scientists discovered skeletons of 3 foot tall, 65 pound humans on the Indonesian island of Flores back in 2004, but they have recently concluded that this is a new species of human, rather than some variation of previous species (BBC News). I love that they're being called "Hobbits," though apparently their feet are not as big as the Hobbits of Middle Earth. A shame.
Lastly, critical consensus seems to indicate that the new Star Trek movie will be totally awesome! See compilations of reviews here, here, and here. It opens on Friday, May 8 (tomorrow), though some theaters will not only have midnight screenings but various screenings earlier this evening. It probably won't do as well as Wolverine did last week because the franchise hasn't had the recent blockbuster success that X-Men had (basically, Star Trek isn't tracking as well among younger people, since it's staler in people's minds). But it's undoubtedly a better movie, and it should do better at the box office. So go out and see it. Get your friends to see it. Support Star Trek!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Guilt
My grandmother had a stroke on Monday. I found out on Tuesday via two forwarded emails from my mother, the originals having been written by my grandfather, who was a doctor before retirement, and my mom's cousin, who is also a doctor and lives in Hawaii. She seems to be all right--her speech is slightly slurred but still understandable, and she can now walk again--but it still came as a shock. She's had some health problems, but mostly she appears very healthy. Her hair is even still almost entirely black (there's just some silver in front of her ears), and she still drives her car. She drove me to get shave ice when I was there in March. This is all just a reminder that she is 86 years old, and once you reach that age, all bets are off. Things can change so quickly.
I feel bad because none of her children or grandchildren are there. None of us can go visit her in the hospital. All of us live too far away from Hawaii. If things were really bad, we'd all buy tickets out to see her, but as it is, we're just making phone calls to her hospital room. I will be moving to Hawaii later this summer, but I'm not there yet. The timing was so close for me being there to help keep her company in the hospital. But not quite. Hold on, Popo, I'm coming!!
My other bit of guilt came from my conversation with my grandfather on Tuesday night.
Gung-Gung: So, have you figured out when you're moving out here?
Me: No, still not yet.
Gung-Gung: Do you know what you're going to do about a car?
Me: I think I do want a car in Hawaii, so I might drive my car to the West Coast and ship it from L.A. or somewhere...
Gung-Gung: You could have our car. You know I don't drive [his seeing is really bad], and I don't think Popo will be driving anymore.
No, Gung-Gung, I don't want your car! I want Popo to still be driving! Their car is considerably older and crappier than my car, but more importantly, I don't want to get a car because my grandmother had a stroke. Congratulations, your grandmother could have died, and you've won a free car! I didn't ask for it, it was my grandfather's idea, but still, it's not something I want to have on my mind every time I get into my car. I guess I don't really need a nice car, the insurance would be cheaper with their car, I won't exactly be going on long car rides on the island, and it would be nice to turn my new-ish car into a chunk of cash... Maybe I will end up taking their car, but it makes me feel guilty just thinking about it.
I hope my grandmother is all right. I hope her life hasn't changed too much and she can go on as normal. I guess next time I'm out in Hawaii, it will be my turn to drive her to get shave ice.
I feel bad because none of her children or grandchildren are there. None of us can go visit her in the hospital. All of us live too far away from Hawaii. If things were really bad, we'd all buy tickets out to see her, but as it is, we're just making phone calls to her hospital room. I will be moving to Hawaii later this summer, but I'm not there yet. The timing was so close for me being there to help keep her company in the hospital. But not quite. Hold on, Popo, I'm coming!!
My other bit of guilt came from my conversation with my grandfather on Tuesday night.
Gung-Gung: So, have you figured out when you're moving out here?
Me: No, still not yet.
Gung-Gung: Do you know what you're going to do about a car?
Me: I think I do want a car in Hawaii, so I might drive my car to the West Coast and ship it from L.A. or somewhere...
Gung-Gung: You could have our car. You know I don't drive [his seeing is really bad], and I don't think Popo will be driving anymore.
No, Gung-Gung, I don't want your car! I want Popo to still be driving! Their car is considerably older and crappier than my car, but more importantly, I don't want to get a car because my grandmother had a stroke. Congratulations, your grandmother could have died, and you've won a free car! I didn't ask for it, it was my grandfather's idea, but still, it's not something I want to have on my mind every time I get into my car. I guess I don't really need a nice car, the insurance would be cheaper with their car, I won't exactly be going on long car rides on the island, and it would be nice to turn my new-ish car into a chunk of cash... Maybe I will end up taking their car, but it makes me feel guilty just thinking about it.
I hope my grandmother is all right. I hope her life hasn't changed too much and she can go on as normal. I guess next time I'm out in Hawaii, it will be my turn to drive her to get shave ice.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
A second Saturday stroll down memory lane: Total geek in many ways
I had so much fun last month looking back at my college days--specifically, what I had been up to four years ago--that I thought I'd do it again. So what had I been doing in the month of April 2005, following the bee incident? These are excerpts from my private journal...
This last one was a really big event, so it is very odd that I didn't say more in my journal about it. I did get back to my room really late, so it's not so strange that I didn't write about it that night, but I would have expected me to write something up the next morning. As it was, all I did was copy my AIM away message from that day.
4/9/05There's a silly one. Room draw for the next year was coming up, and my two friends and I were planning on selecting rooms from a dorm that was currently under serious renovations--they spent the whole year gutting the building and changing around the rooms and hallways. But we didn't want to choose a room that we hadn't seen yet; the floor plan did not satisfy us. So one night we climbed through a cloister window and squeezed through a slit in the fence to enter the forbidden dorm's courtyard. From there, nothing was locked. We tiptoed over unfinished floors and found our way to potential rooms. At some point my friend Anna and I decided to head home, leaving Jeff behind. But when we were in the courtyard, we saw someone coming. Who else would have access to waltz into the forbidden courtyard but someone from public safety? We tried to hide behind a pile of something, but Anna tripped on a metal pipe that clanked quite loudly. We were caught! She didn't say anything, but I basically talked our way out of trouble, and we left the forbidden courtyard. Jeff had been about to exit the building when he saw the man coming and was able to duck back inside. Once he thought the coast was clear, he started to leave, but the guy saw him and called out. Anna and I were already waiting in the cloister when Jeff came leaping through the window, yelled "Run!" and continued sprinting down the walkway. It occurred to us afterwards that the man we saw was not particularly public safety-like. We wondered if he wasn't some random dude who had no more business being there than we did. Well, at least we got away. And we got really nice rooms the following year.
Well, I had an adventure tonight. Anna and I failed our Stealth check, in part due to carelessness, and in part due to Anna's dismally low move silently. Luckily, my persuade was high enough to make a successful Persuade/Lie check. Jeff made a lucky stealth check, and when his stealth failed he made up for it with speed.
Mischief managed, but just barely.
4/13/05This is fairly self-explanatory.
[My friend] Cal Johnson said that the day he gets tenure, he's going to smoke a tobacco bong in class.
4/13/05This one's a bit embarrassing. First, ew, that I hadn't swept under my desk. I'm pretty sure that by "stuff" I meant like bits of paper or very small rocks. Yes. Second, I continue to be a total geek and write about playing KotOR. But it was a fun game. The next entry is even worse. I'm not sure if I should include it, it is so embarrassing...
So I beat Knights of the Old Republic tonight. It was a wonderful day. Before dinner, I finished my evil 303 problem set. After dinner, I cleaned the room. I hadn't swept my own room since, well, ever. Dana had swept the room, but never under my bed or my desk. There was so much dust and dirt and...stuff...under my desk, I couldn't really put my feet down very far back there. Anyway, I cleaned the room, sweeping and vacuuming because the prefrosh are coming tomorrow. Then, I put up my away message, "It ends here, tonight," and beat the game. Away message after: "And so it ends." The ending makes me very happy.
Excerpt from 4/15/05What more can I say? Sometimes I have to let the totally dorky nerd out. The fact that I included it in my journal means that even at the time, I recognized it was a totally crazy thing to do. All right, time for more KotOR comments...
Earlier in the day, I counted how many of my iTunes songs I had listened to 0 times, 1 time, etc. and made an Excel spreadsheet and graph of it.
He's so cute. More random snippets of conversation:
4/16/05
Conversation today on the phone with my little brother:
Me: I wish I could play KotOR again for the first time.
Bro: Well, you could hit yourself really hard on the head...
Me: No, brain damage is not the answer.
4/18/05Can't make that any more clear than it already is, except perhaps to clarify that by "salt" he was referring to a couple of salt shakers.
Funny bit tonight at dinner, Todd said to Dave:
"What are you doing? It's like Stonehenge, but with a squash... and salt."
This last one was a really big event, so it is very odd that I didn't say more in my journal about it. I did get back to my room really late, so it's not so strange that I didn't write about it that night, but I would have expected me to write something up the next morning. As it was, all I did was copy my AIM away message from that day.
4/22/05Yes, I probably haven't mentioned it before, but I was once a professional singer, and I even performed in Carnegie Hall. It's not actually as impressive as it sounds, but since it sounds so impressive, I'll just leave it at that for today.
Facebook away message:
I'm with the Choir. We're singing at CARNEGIE HALL tonight!
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